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Inspired by Rick Daddario's 30 Days of Haiga -
September 22nd prompt: autumn/spring beginnings
and September Heights P#181 -
prompt: birth
Related posts:
* Autumn Equinox - September 21st haiga
* Evening Glory - September 20th haiga
* Prickly Heat- September 18th haiga
* Moonlit Meadow - September 17th haiga
* Ring on Her Finger - September 14th haiga
That's very nice. I love the "sound of tiny tiny ripples at play." Delightful.
ReplyDeleteNice haiga ... great haiku ... thank you for sharing this one with us.
ReplyDeleteGorgeous image you created!
ReplyDeletealoha Christine - beautiful image - i know you know about image. very cool.
ReplyDeletei like the placement of the ku. i'm wondering a little about the ku itself. something about it... wondering if "tiny" needs to be there? or if ripples play? ducklings play - altho i can see why you avoided "ducks or ducklings" - it isnt needed. maybe the ripples cross-lapping is the play? ripples make sound. ducks play. spring. hmmmm... i think you have something in this ku - i'm not sure it's quite there yet?
i'm finding more and more that the more i pare my haiku down the more it opens up. less becomes more.
i like this, maybe there is a little more to go in it still?
P.S. way cool on coming out with 2 on this prompt. cool. and fun. aloha.
ReplyDeleteIt's not always easy to combine two prompts. It's crazy, but I try to do it anyway. If it doesn't come out naturally, I don't force it. Like in this haiga, I just let the photo represent "birth."
DeleteThanks for the feedback, Rick. Perhaps, I can still work on it. I was trying to avoid the word "duck/ducklings" so as to make the photo reveal what I'm talking about. I chose the word "tiny" so as to make the reader think without looking at the photo that there is something small causing ripples on the water. Well, i guess, even if it's a small stone, it can still create big ripples. Hmmmm. Do ripples play? Maybe I should change the last line.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me rethink this haiku. I'll let it sit for awhile. :-)
oh. yeah. i think it's way cool when we can fit one work into multiple functions. yeah, too without forcing it - or taking away from the work that is.
Deleteyeah, i do this too. in fact the reason i'm currently framing with the spacing i'm using is because that will work on my Access Gallery so the image can be printed as greeting cards, postcards and prints. each on-demand printing site seems to have their own formula for print cropping. so i try to calibrate that framing into the specific formula as it relates to the site i intend to use. ...i suspect you understand this having printed up your beautiful postcards. still - multiple considerations for one work...
yeah - a little extra challenge.
yeah. i'm trying more and more to check and limit saying things in my ku that the reader can see in the photo on their own. i still fall short of this often. ...which is why i keep trying.
i think it's easier for the person who didnt write the ku to spot issues initially because the writer has a conflict in their skull. they KNOW what they want to get at - so sometimes we think we are saying this and read what we have written that way - because we know what it's supposed to say and do.
a person who hasnt written the ku doesnt have that knowledge of what it is supposed to say and do - they just get what ever it says and does to them.
we can approximate the non-writer in looking at our own ku if we are careful about it. - and it helps a lot a lot a lot to not read it for several days or more and then read it and see what happens.
it takes a while to get out of our skull what we think we are saying - days and sometimes weeks or longer. we often dont have that time with due dates. so i think it helps to attempt to separate what we think we are saying from what we actually have written by being aware that this happens. ...i hope that makes sense. we get better at this by doing it repeatedly of course - or trying to do so.
fun on rethinking too. aloha.